Be among the few to experience Lost Totem Trajipon!, the forgotten jewel in this dusty old box of cartridges we bought from a nondescript elderly man last week.

Whether you're a fan of fumigation by force or like to encourage biodiversity via mutation, there's a Minion perfectly suited to your above-board methodology. If they fit your style, let them soak up bullets and bites until they fall - but if they don't, your crooked knife can clean them up while letting you keep their best moves!

Don't get too attached to your Minions - they're not long for this world. Besides, minions exist to serve!

Mire yourself in a world that's just as lively as it is dreary. Though its palette is limited, Trajipon's inhabitants are truly colorful, be they ferrets armed to the teeth or clandestine operators attempting to cover up the truth - and none of them will let you discover Trajipon's secrets without a fight.

• Turn-based combat against occult opponents, with the aid of up to 3 captured Minions

• Over 60 Minions to capture, but watch out - when your Minion dies, it's gone for good

• Terrifying Battlelords to fight, and secret Arch-Minions to capture

• Sacrifice your Minions to gain knowledge of their moves, and teach them to others

• Densely packed world to explore with roguelike elements - Trajipon is always changing

• Perma-death with a twist - if you're out of Minions, save yourself from certain death with a bullet

• Haunting retro atmosphere, despite the fact that the game is definitely not haunted

We here at SolPlex Entertainment have taken great care to ensure that most nonfictional hauntings, or extreme damage to the ROM that may have arisen as a result of sitting around in a random person's attic for 20-30 years have been accounted for to the best of our abilities. SolPlex Entertainment is not responsible for any paranormal events that may arise from the result of corporate negligence. We're pretty sure we got most of the ghosts out.